
Soaking in the comfort in this hard edged world. Cats seem to be in the know with self care. Make time to comfort, soothe and nourish the tender in you. ❤️
Soaking in the comfort in this hard edged world. Cats seem to be in the know with self care. Make time to comfort, soothe and nourish the tender in you. ❤️
Who are you really? What makes you tick? Not what do you do for a living. Not who are you in relationship to others…(mother, son, sister, brother, wife, grandpa, etc.). I was asked to describe who I am. After much thought about why I think I’m in existence, I came up with this description.
I am love. I am light. I am truth, real and raw. Both colorful and dark. I am synchronous with growth, death, rebirth following the cycles of nature. I am my own best friend, confidante and lover. I am sensual, funny and deep. I am a beautiful mix of human and spirit. Light and heavy. An unchanged core of varying human experience, I am a beautiful mess.
How would you answer? What would you say?
Yesterday was an emotional day for me. The purging hurt so good. The death of an antiquated pattern, shedding my dumb-suit. My beauty radiating blissfully from under the decaying camouflage. Reflecting on how different I am today. It hit me hard. Like my heart was cracking open to love – love for myself. Continue reading “Retiring My Emotional Armor”
“It’s unbelievable how many ppl carry this around with them and then all of the sudden come out with – I was sexually abused as a kid. They go their whole life, carrying it around and never say anything”. Continue reading “Shhhhhh”
OH on a Sunday morning. Warmed by the Spring sun, greeted by a worn out Winter smile. I aspire to relax into each hour. Making the most of the present moment. Recalling how I’ve crawled up the backside of a landfill to create space. Enough space in my life to let the warm sun IN to thaw my soul. Sunday restores the depleted/empty caverns carved by a less than satisfying week. A less than satisfying life. Our positive reserves may have run dry, our good intentions steam rolled.
Sunday’s are meant for replenishment, for celebration. Pregnant with possibilities, resetting intentions. We remember that everything works out, falls into place, everything. Clearing, cleansing minds for the coming week. Beginning anew. The privilege of a clean slate, a refresh. In deepest gratitude, Sunday.
Only write the pretty things. Speak in pretty tones, pretty word choice. Somehow REAL is no longer cool. Intolerable. Honesty must be extinguished, slaughtered alongside her sister, authenticity. Continue reading “Only Pretty Allowed Here”
Being with teens sometimes hurts my soul. Today I am upset with my gag order circumstances. Kinda goes against the grain of my -say it- fabric. I suck at keeping my mouth shut Continue reading “Right Church Wrong Pew”
What I know today is that I am doing the best I can with what I know at this moment. Listening to my body, getting my needs met and noticing, just noticing issues and problems. After all, the problems are usually not the big deal, it’s the way we FEEL about having a problem – this is the REAL problem.
Today I feel like I’m just watching life unfold. I’m not part of events and moments but just an observer. Dissociation is the order of the day. Now I have a clear choice… I can either beat myself up, try to figure out why, try to be something else (exercise, physical pain, substance, force grounding, etc..) and otherwise DO something about my dissociative state or I can accept that this is the order of the day. If I make it a big honkin deal then I’ve added to the original condition.
Today I will not shame myself, go into role, hide or otherwise catastrophize about what could have possibly taken over my brain and ability to feel deeply. Obviously, I have been triggered. Healthy, normal, life happening, right now, oh well.
And Thank-You, dissociation, my loveliest, oldest companion, for saving my young self from a complete mental breakdown. Happy Friday everyone.
It amazes me how differently humans react in a crisis. Continue reading “Cold & Broken”
We’ll do anything for a good Mom. When there was so much wrong in our childhoods, we need, now, to reparent ourselves and get what we’ve missed.
Bringing loving kindness to ourselves. Validation. Safety. Feeling comfortable really , deeply being seen. Celebrating our Aliveness. Feeling worthy.
Gift yourself these. Get whatcha need. Fill those holes. Anyways.
Picture credit to 9Gag.com
Do you give thanks everyday for your body? Your amazingly perfect physical-ness? You should! You should express your gratitude for your bones, joints, skin, liver, your feet, your eyesight, your pancreas, your nose, your brain, the hair on your toes, on your head, even parts that hurt, are sick or not exactly making you happy right now. Every organ, every inch of your body. Become aware, today. Become aware of how you choose to treat the miracle of YOU. The miracle of thinking, being, feeling, acting and reacting. Offer it love, give it exercise – whether or not it complains or balks, give it good food – try things you’ve read about and don’t forget the water, generous amounts of water. Say thank you for all the ways you function right now because the more you are aware of your body, the more you will avoid mistreating it.
If just for today…
If just for today we appreciate our commitment to being alive. Continue reading “If Just For Today”
Welcome!!! Well, actually, just practicing cause I am 3 away from that honor. But I can feel it in my bones, IT’S HAPPENING. Did I tell you that I honor my milestone followers with a special gift? Beyond excited for this opportunity… my 100th follower declined receiving anything from me so instead, I celebrated my son’s girlfriend’s influence on my getting started on this adventure. She helped me to create a forum for my voice, stronger than ever as I crawl, walk, jog and finally sprint back from an insane upbringing.
I was happy to have one reader stop by – what a crazy good validation of my truth … perfect strangers responding with “yup” and “uh-huh” when I threw it all out there, sobbing privately between the lines. Somebody understood God damn it, lots of somebody’s cheering for me and some offering a glimpse into their long held hell with spontaneous comments.
A true treasure I’ve unearthed in this blogging business. Every time I am struck with an idea, a memory, a bitch😂 or celebration, I am free to let the words flow like somebody left the gate open. Without hesitation, censoring, dumbing it down or guilt – I just say it anyway. How beautifully organic. I am beyond blessed to be seen and heard in my truth. How blessed am I to have an audience to connect with… no doubt, this is sacred work.
Naming my Gratitude WordPress! 😊
I miss looking under rocks for cool bugs to put in our bug-house. I miss packing a thermos of hot chocolate, 3 sandwiches and grabbing a loaf of stale bread to spend quality time with the beach seagulls. Continue reading “For The Love of Gratitude 12/1/2018”
For The Love of Gratitude 11/28
Today I am thankful to be able to listen. Not trying to get someone to see anything, know anything, or be anything different than what they are. Being present and holding back my opinion, judgement, bias and beliefs. Making room for pause, breath and compassion when witnessing someone’s hurt. So grateful for the opportunity to listen 💜
I was with a woman last night who really has it out for herself. I mean, the car felt crowded and it was only the 2 of us in there. She felt heavy. If stared at her long enough I might get a clear pic of the degrading bastard who grips her aliveness. This invisible energy that slaughters her every attempt she makes… to shine. The invisible beast with tentacles, squeezing the happy, proud, self-confidence right out of her.
Continue reading “Careful, Your Self-Talk Is Showing”
Walking down the sidewalk, my rolling cart’s wheel was stopped dead by a deep crack. Yanked my bag right from my hand. The cart smashed to the ground, Continue reading “Growned up”
Adorn yourself with lovely things. What are we saving our best shit for? Don’t save the outfit, those shoes, those earrings that resemble a chandelier – for a special occasion. Continue reading “We ARE The Event”
Saturday. It’s so nice to see you – I’ve waited since last time we met to be with you once again. It’s always been a pleasure to spend time with you, you’re so full of possibilities, freedom and relaxation. I like the way you always go with whatever comes your way. Some spontaneous. Some planned. Some of the best memories are made on your time, allowing me to be present, living one moment at a time – first in your light -then darkness. You’re flanked by some pretty honorable comrades – Fri & Sun but the experience of you, Saturday, is the day to savor. I’m honored to be in your presence. Every one of YOU is a gift.
Gratitude on this beautiful Saturday.
Saturday. It’s so nice to see you – I’ve waited since last time we met to be with you once again. It’s always been a pleasure to spend time with you, you’re so full of possibilities, freedom and relaxation. I like the way you always go with whatever comes your way. Some spontaneous. Some planned. Some of the best memories are made on your time, allowing me to be present, living one moment at a time – first in your light -then darkness. You’re flanked by some pretty honorable comrades – Fri & Sun but the experience of you, Saturday, is the day to savor. I’m honored to be in your presence. Every one of YOU is a gift.
Gratitude on this beautiful Saturday.