abuse · anyways · awareness · Celebrate · challenge · Change · childhood · Comfort · connection · fun · gratitude · healing · healthy · heart · Human Spirit · inner work · Joy · Moving On · persevere · Play · Reframe · Satisfied · self love · soul · Spirit Guides · survival · trauma · Trees · Universe

As A Tree, I Heal

cb0423de-adcc-4758-9c81-0daa5c1dada8.jpegI believe in the magic of trees. I can be found touching, smelling and cozying up to trees. They’re all so welcoming, fragrant, protective and accepting of love from us. My ancient friends on my land, lovingly offer their sap which I respectfully process into delicious syrup. Bark, of the Shag-bark tree also creates a delectable syrup. Elderberry, Linden, Maples, Oaks, Willow… Oh, my momma Willow. How I honor thee. I would say one of the most disappointing events I witnessed this year involved my 100+ yr old Willows. Continue reading “As A Tree, I Heal”

anyways · awareness · Celebrate · challenge · childhood · Comfort · connection · healing · healthy · heart · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · intention · Joy · light in the darkness · old patterns · persevere · presence · self love · self talk · Thoughts · trauma · triggers

Careful, Your Self-Talk Is Showing

I was with a woman last night who really has it out for herself. I mean, the car felt crowded and it was only the 2 of us in there. She felt heavy. If stared at her long enough  I might get a clear pic of the degrading bastard who grips her aliveness. This invisible  energy that slaughters her every attempt she makes… to shine. The invisible beast with tentacles, squeezing the happy, proud, self-confidence right out of her.
Continue reading “Careful, Your Self-Talk Is Showing”

anyways · awareness · Celebrate · Change · childhood · exploration · gratitude · healing · healthy · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · Joy · Moving On · old patterns · presence · Satisfied · self love · trauma · triggers · validation

Growned up

 

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Walking down the sidewalk, my rolling cart’s wheel was stopped dead by a deep crack. Yanked my bag right from my hand. The cart smashed to the ground, Continue reading “Growned up”

Anorexia · Change · Eating · exploration · Food · healing · healthy · Human Spirit · persevere · Starving · survival · trauma

Canned Peaches & Custard

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    Survivor’s Crown

I knew something was terribly wrong. The desire in me, to bust out to the world with what I knew, was so very strong. I had kept the secret for a long time. Knowing something bad happened, something unspeakable, I could hardly keep from bursting at the seams. Continue reading “Canned Peaches & Custard”

healing · physical therapy · trauma · triggers · Uncategorized

Colorful Chaos

In losing everything< we begin to come home to ourselves. Complete devastation has a way of cracking our hearts wide open so we can begin the decent into the valley of original medicine AKA who we came here to be. If someone would have tried to sell me that bullshit in my teen years I would have run away screaming.  Continue reading “Colorful Chaos”

abuse · trauma · triggers

Just A Shell

Born into a family of dysfunction, I navigated my world the best I could, hoping to be loved, cherished, valued, held and heard. Instead I was met with disregard for my life, repeated, long-term invasion of my body, my innocence, violence disguised as love, safety/security masquerading as control. All at the hands of my parents and male siblings. I was doomed. A shell of a human. Existing in the dizzying cycle of being tossed around in the surf of life – only occasionally able to take a full breath, surface. Pieces of my personality chipped off, the tide taking them far off, away.  Never feeling the ground beneath my feet. Becoming dead inside, broken. Accepting the abnormal as normal. As violence, invasion came over me again and again I became familiar with rage. The rage that was growing inside of me. Rage that would never be recognized. Undercover. A secret rage, thoughts of revenge that would bring a sweet, savory smile to my perfect little-girl face. Continue reading “Just A Shell”