challenge · childhood · Comfort · connection · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · intention · Joy · light in the darkness · persevere · presence · See · survival · Thrive · triggers · trust

Right Church Wrong Pew

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Being with teens sometimes hurts my soul. Today I am upset with my gag order circumstances. Kinda goes against the grain of my -say it- fabric. I suck at keeping my mouth shut Continue reading “Right Church Wrong Pew”

affirmation · awareness · human condition · presence

It Is What It Is -Affirmation Friday

6BA5812E-C953-4313-B9C7-EFFB6B49ED00What I know today is that I am doing the best I can with what I know at this moment. Listening to my body, getting my needs met and  noticing, just noticing issues and problems. After all, the problems are usually not the big deal, it’s the way we FEEL about having a problem – this is the REAL problem.

Today I feel like I’m just watching life unfold. I’m not part of events and moments but just an observer. Dissociation is the order of the day. Now I have a clear choice… I can either beat myself up, try to figure out why, try to be something else (exercise, physical pain, substance, force grounding, etc..) and otherwise DO something about my  dissociative state or I can accept that this is the order of the day. If I make it a big honkin deal then I’ve added to the original condition.

Today I will not shame myself, go into role, hide or otherwise catastrophize about what could have possibly taken over my brain and ability to feel deeply. Obviously, I have been triggered. Healthy, normal, life happening, right now, oh well.

And Thank-You, dissociation, my loveliest, oldest companion, for saving my young self from a complete mental breakdown.  Happy Friday everyone.

abuse · affirmation · Angels · anyways · awareness · Celebrate · challenge · Change · childhood · Comfort · connection · exploration · Hate · healing · healthy · heart · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · need · persevere · presence · Sadness · Satisfied · self love · self talk · soul · Spirit Guides · survival · Thrive · trauma · Treasure · validation

Get What You Need. Anyway

We’ll do anything for a good Mom. When there was so much wrong in our childhoods, we need, now, to reparent ourselves and get what we’ve missed.
Bringing loving kindness to ourselves. Validation. Safety. Feeling comfortable really , deeply being seen. Celebrating our Aliveness. Feeling worthy.
Gift yourself these. Get whatcha need. Fill those holes. Anyways.

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Picture credit to 9Gag.com

acceptance · affirmation · anyways · awareness · body · Body image · Celebrate · connection · Diet · Eating · Forgiveness · fun · gratitude · healing · healthy · heart · human condition · intention · Joy · light in the darkness · listen · Manifest · persevere · Play · presence · Reframe · Satisfied · self love · self talk · Survive · Treasure · Uncategorized

I’m gunna hug you and squeeze you and call you George

944871E1-4240-4EB0-A86F-FF01A8612A5B.jpegDo you give thanks everyday for your body? Your amazingly perfect physical-ness? You should! You should express your gratitude for your bones, joints, skin, liver, your feet, your eyesight, your pancreas, your nose, your brain, the hair on your toes, on your head, even parts that hurt, are sick or not exactly making you happy right now. Every organ, every inch of your body. Become aware, today. Become aware of how you choose to treat the miracle of YOU. The miracle of thinking, being, feeling, acting and reacting. Offer it love, give it exercise – whether or not it complains or balks, give it good food – try things you’ve read about and don’t forget the water, generous amounts of water. Say thank you for all the ways you function right now because the more you are aware of your body, the more you will avoid mistreating it.

 

acceptance · anyways · awareness · Change · childhood · Comfort · gratitude · healing · healthy · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · light in the darkness · Manifest · old patterns · persevere · Reframe · Sadness · See · self love · soul · Survive · trauma · triggers · Universe · validation

Write her a letter, he said.

 

“I need to talk to her, I love her and miss her, please give this message to her”. This is what my Maternal Influence – as I call her – texts my husband. Continue reading “Write her a letter, he said.”

abuse · anyways · challenge · Change · childhood · healing · healthy · human condition · Human Spirit · inner work · light in the darkness · old patterns · persevere · Reframe · Sadness · self love · survival · trauma

Just A Shell

I think it’s so essential to remember what and where we came from and most importantly, how we have transformed ourselves. I feel the highest honor for those of you who are battling your way to sanity and personal power. You have my support to be who you came here to be. Fabulous.

A Fish Named Karen

Born into a family of dysfunction, I navigated my world the best I could, hoping to be loved, cherished, valued, held and heard. Instead I was met with disregard for my life, repeated, long-term invasion of my body, my innocence, violence disguised as love, safety/security masquerading as control. All at the hands of my parents and male siblings. I was doomed. A shell of a human. Existing in the dizzying cycle of being tossed around in the surf of life – only occasionally able to take a full breath, surface. Pieces of my personality chipped off, the tide taking them far off, away.  Never feeling the ground beneath my feet. Becoming dead inside, broken. Accepting the abnormal as normal. As violence, invasion came over me again and again I became familiar with rage. The rage that was growing inside of me. Rage that would never be recognized. Undercover. A secret…

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