People come into our lives. They may be forgettable. Continue reading “Soul Treat”
I observed a 3 year old girl yesterday, being 3. At the beach with her grandparents. It was time to leave and her older sister noticed the beach showers. Continue reading “Simply”
Met someone from my past today. Except she clearly, did not recognize me.
I was getting a pedicure 3 chairs down from her. My feet are pretty ticklish so I was squirming and laughing through the brushing, the massage, hot stone massage, etc.. She looked over at me, enjoying myself, and shot me a look of absolute disgust and hate. Leaned over, closer to her friend, “what is so funny, why is she laughing at us?” she announced rather loudly.
WTF? This nasty human obviously had no tolerance for my joy or light. She assumed I was laughing AT HER. How convoluted and strange. At first I was shocked but it still did not stop me from carrying on feeling the joys of foot massage and reacting uninhibited. I’m not about to put a lid on my joy.
Imagine walking around in life thinking everyone is reacting to YOU, that EVERYTHING that happens around you – is about you – and for you? Sounds kinda like a 2,3,4 year old child. She clearly wanted to extinguish my aliveness with violence. The way she looked at me was full of contempt. Like I “DID something to her” just by being in joy and being in the moment. This threatened something in her. She wanted to attack me. She kept looking over to make sure I was not still smiling
She wanted to shame me and tried to involve the clinician who was doing her pedicure. I heard her say, “That’s disgusting” and motioned for her friend to look over at me. I felt them both look over and laugh to themselves. Evil, I’ll tell ya. I so badly wanted to rise up and give her the feeling of powerlessness that she soooo does not want to feel!!!! I’d volunteer…I fantasized about getting in her face and pressing it against the glass, or grabbing her by her hair and dragging her head down to the ground ☺️ but instead, I chose to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. She was livid. It tore her UP to see me still enjoying myself. Her efforts to bully me were fruitless. (Stick yer tongue out emoji) LOL and wasn’t she so very comfortable with trying to intimidate and bully people who appear to “defy” her wishes. Yep, that’s me, just running around pissing people off on purpose.
Her life must be a living hell. Imagine the feelings of complete powerlessness, paranoia and terror this “woman” (and I use that term loosely) has buried under all that rage, disgust, contempt and blame.
It is impossible to know what someone else’s perception will be for any given situation. Never assume that someone will react “normally” in a seemingly no brainer situation. Who really cares what someone else’s reaction to my light is. DNnnmnnnon’t let anyone steal your joy, or try and bully you out of it. My foot massage felt great, it tickled me, brought me amazing pleasure, it was a sensual experience. Too bad if someone reacts unfavorably to my feeling of pleasure – not my f’n problem. I’m just having a reaction within myself, it should not cause rage. Her perception skewed, full of blame and projection. Rather bizarre. But we have no control over how other people react to us.
God bless this poor rageful soul. I refresopted out of refreshing her memory and letting her know we actually were on the volleyball team together in high school… LOL Hopefully she stays out of prison.
When you start to speak the truth
When you find your voice
People will want to silence you, shut your shit down. Continue reading “Power Up”
Yesterday was an emotional day for me. The purging hurt so good. The death of an antiquated pattern, shedding my dumb-suit. My beauty radiating blissfully from under the decaying camouflage. Reflecting on how different I am today. It hit me hard. Like my heart was cracking open to love – love for myself. Continue reading “Retiring My Emotional Armor”
If just for today…
If just for today we appreciate our commitment to being alive. Continue reading “If Just For Today”
I think it’s so essential to remember what and where we came from and most importantly, how we have transformed ourselves. I feel the highest honor for those of you who are battling your way to sanity and personal power. You have my support to be who you came here to be. Fabulous.
Born into a family of dysfunction, I navigated my world the best I could, hoping to be loved, cherished, valued, held and heard. Instead I was met with disregard for my life, repeated, long-term invasion of my body, my innocence, violence disguised as love, safety/security masquerading as control. All at the hands of my parents and male siblings. I was doomed. A shell of a human. Existing in the dizzying cycle of being tossed around in the surf of life – only occasionally able to take a full breath, surface. Pieces of my personality chipped off, the tide taking them far off, away. Never feeling the ground beneath my feet. Becoming dead inside, broken. Accepting the abnormal as normal. As violence, invasion came over me again and again I became familiar with rage. The rage that was growing inside of me. Rage that would never be recognized. Undercover. A secret…
View original post 1,426 more words