Dad did the best he could. Now that’s something we say when we know it could have been much better but we are affording some compassion to a situation that downright sucked. Continue reading “Did The Best He Could”
I knew from the moment I saw him, he’d be trouble. Those dimples, dangerous teeth and someone-left-the-gate-open eyes. Continue reading “Electricity”
Looking for some inspiration today I stumbled upon this Wintery scene. Quiet, frozen and crunchy. Alive underneath but who would know? Who could tell? My desire for inspiration, stirring. Alive, underneath these Winter layers. We sit. Simmering, planning, fantasizing about the greatest of possibilities. Maybe adding some sparkle and intrigue to our lives, our existence. What rubbish can we dispose of? Can we be doing more? What’s really important? What’s fluff in our lives? What do we keep? Feed? What do we watch die off? Freeze? These cold, crunchy layers of Winter-ness masking, the ME, the YOU, the US. But yet the seduction of mid-Winter hibernation, stagnation, complacency is victorious. For ME? I’m still spying for some inspiration, the ME I aspire to be. Underneath it all.
It would be great to start every day with a fire ceremony. In nature. Crows, hawks, squirrels chasing, leaves rustling, cardinals chirping. Continue reading “Start Your Day”
I’ve always been hell bent on being strong and independent. This week I was teaching an adult education night course and packed a large bag with my crystal bowls, drum and yoga mats. The bag was not overly heavy but it was very awkward. There was a Volleyball game at the high school that night so the parking lot was full. It was a long walk carrying this bag. I was approached by this man. He asked me if he could carry my bag for me. Now…the old me would have politely declined and would have beat myself up for it all night long. The new me said, “Sure, that would be great” and I handed my bag over. What a beautiful gesture! He carried it all the way to my classroom. Pretty sure this man was an angel 😇 in human form…
Let’s not mind our own business. Let’s offer our support, risking rejection. Let’s make each other’s lives a little more comfortable. Let’s put ourselves out there without investment in the outcome. Let the reward be our heart opening, even if the other person doesn’t say thank-you or otherwise acknowledge us.
Don’t mind me, I’m just living my best life. As a woman, my natural state of being is confident, sensual, powerful, WILD. And get out of my way cause I’m feeling all of it. Something about this cool crisp air, flushing out the stagnant left over summer heat. It fans the embers of my soul. Embers that glow unapologetically, especially when everything around me is going to shit. I’m not trying to dumb down my joy or connection with spirit because someone else is suffering with debt, disease or divorce. I do give a shit but trust that I can still feel amazing even tho I’m surrounded with suffering.
I’m sure I could come up with something to torment myself over – 30 lbs overweight, seasonal allergies, nerve pain in my left ass cheek 🤪 or whathaveyou- but oh well, instead I’d rather fill my senses with the little, plentiful pleasures in life. Those lovely sensory field trips such as walking barefoot in the grass, wearing a fitted dress and heels for no reason, putting on a juicy orange-red lipstick, creating a fresh picked wild flower wreath for my head, sitting in the garden with my eyes closed…You know, simple, delicious shit because I matter. Because there are no guarantees. Because I don’t care if anyone approves. Because only I can do this for myself.
Be fabulous. Be a Queen or King. If just for a moment. If just for today. Anyways.
This or better.
Hello my darling ANXIETY.
What is it you want to tell me?
I promise I won’t curse you or otherwise chase you away today.
The fact that you’re here now – a good indication that I’m ready now and finally prepared to hear your message.
You’re here anyway, so I might as well, lend you an ear.
I let you in many years ago, I guess it’s only natural that you’d want to be set free.
You kept me safe and on guard when I needed to be.
You are no longer needed to the extent that you were.
I’ll keep checking in with you over the course of today.
Maybe we can get to know each other better when we’re not triggered.
Maybe we can craft an easy transition to a more peaceful existence.
Maybe I can get to know where you begin and I end.
This is just the beginning of our goodbye.
Maybe I can, ANXIETY, maybe I can.
It’s Ok when you don’t believe me.
It’s ok when you deny my reality.
When you want me to shut up.
If you ignore me.
If you think I’m wrong.
If you think I’m crazy.
If you tell everyone I’m the problem.
If you still think I’m angry.
It’s ok if you smile and act like you’re listening.
It’s ok if you’re not in my life.
It’s ok if you never will be.
I am free. Anyway.
[A Fish Named Karen, artwork – A Fish Named Karen]
Expectation is the root of much of our suffering. Wanting others to think or behave differently can bring great despair. Continue reading “To Expect is to Suffer”