For The Love Of Gratitude Feb 3, 2019
Looking for some inspiration today I stumbled across this Wintery scene. Quiet, frozen and crunchy. Alive underneath but who can tell? Bringing me right back to my quest for something greater. Continue reading “Winter Layers”
We’ll do anything for a good Mom. When there was so much wrong in our childhoods, we need, now, to reparent ourselves and get what we’ve missed.
Bringing loving kindness to ourselves. Validation. Safety. Feeling comfortable really , deeply being seen. Celebrating our Aliveness. Feeling worthy.
Gift yourself these. Get whatcha need. Fill those holes. Anyways.
Picture credit to 9Gag.com
Perfectionism……………………….
Per-fect-shun-is-ummmm. Hmmm, shunning the perfect, the pressure, warped sense of acceptable. No more reliving what we’ve been taught. Release the grip on the torch we’ve carried to keep ourselves in check and appear flawless. Allow the cracks to happen…how else will the light get in?
Do you give thanks everyday for your body? Your amazingly perfect physical-ness? You should! You should express your gratitude for your bones, joints, skin, liver, your feet, your eyesight, your pancreas, your nose, your brain, the hair on your toes, on your head, even parts that hurt, are sick or not exactly making you happy right now. Every organ, every inch of your body. Become aware, today. Become aware of how you choose to treat the miracle of YOU. The miracle of thinking, being, feeling, acting and reacting. Offer it love, give it exercise – whether or not it complains or balks, give it good food – try things you’ve read about and don’t forget the water, generous amounts of water. Say thank you for all the ways you function right now because the more you are aware of your body, the more you will avoid mistreating it.
“I need to talk to her, I love her and miss her, please give this message to her”. This is what my Maternal Influence – as I call her – texts my husband. Continue reading “Write her a letter, he said.”
If just for today…
If just for today we appreciate our commitment to being alive. Continue reading “If Just For Today”
Sometimes your gifts and talents are barely visible, just under the surface. Often concealed by pretty weighty assaults you’ve collected on your path. Attacks on your self-worth. Attacks on your personal power. Attacks on your right to simply live and BE. Absorbing comments from others… “It’ll never work”, “You can’t make a living doing THAT”, “Don’t brag, no-one likes a show off”, “Better stick to your day job”, “What do you think you’re special or something?”
Then there’s the INNER chatter, the burlap you cover yourself with… I’m not really good at this, What I can do is not so special, People will laugh at me, What if it doesn’t work out? I’ll look foolish, bla, bla, bla.
Awareness is a tool, like a backhoe. Working, cultivating, excavating your inner land, your toughest rocks, your fibrous burlap. It’s 2019! Draft a plan, devise a blueprint, do it anyway. Move that shit OUT. Survey YOUR land, notice the rocks and ground covers in your life, how you dumb down who you are, what you are capable of….
Who would YOU be free to BE without the thoughts and ideas you have adopted to keep yourself small and safe? Fill the backhoe up with divine fuel, it’s time to shine, no apologies. Take a chance and show the world the buried treasure of YOU.
Lifelong commitment is not what everyone thinks it is. It’s not waking up early every morning to make breakfast and eat together. It’s not cuddling in bed together until both of you peacefully fall asleep, well…sometimes. It’s not a spotless home and a gourmet meal every night. It’s messy, unkept hair and wrinkled pajamas, morning breath and sneaking off to get the first shower.
It’s someone who steals all the covers. Snores on the inhale and exhale. It’s the occasional slammed door, and a few harsh words, disagreeing, and the silent treatment until your hearts heal. Then…making up and becoming friends again.
It’s coming home to the same person everyday that you know loves and cares about you, in spite of and because of who you are. It’s laughing about the stupid things we get ourselves into, sometimes lots of stupid things. Knowing that everything eventually works itself out. It’s about dirty laundry, junk mail, shutting off the lights in rooms that are vacant and mud tracked in all Spring -without finger pointing. It’s about helping each other with the hard work of life, even when you’re not particularly good at it. It’s about swallowing the negative comments instead of letting them out of your mouth.
It’s about sitting down to eat, physically exhausted, at 9pm after 12 hours of hard labor in the yard. It’s when you have an emotional breakdown, and he/she wraps their arms around you and tells you everything is going to be just fine and you believe them. It’s when you find comfort in watching the shows we know each other likes. Content to sit and hang out, enjoying sharing the silence together, without having to fill each moment with small talk. It’s about still loving someone even though sometimes they make you absolutely insane.
Living with the person you love is not perfect, it’s hard, amazing, impossible and comforting all at the same time❤
*Trigger warning – even the family dog wasn’t safe from family trauma/darkness*
Many, many years ago, at my childhood home, when there were too many mouths to feed and not enough sanity to go around we got a dog, anyways. 8 children. Yeah, let’s get a dog. Continue reading “Even the Family Dog Felt the Ripples Of Crazy”
Here we are, Christmas quickly approaching. So of course I have no plans to spend time with my family on Christmas Eve. Flirting with attending vs. not attending family gatherings for 15 years, Continue reading “The Unlikely Christmas Card”
So, the Holidays, hmmmmm. I’m guessing that some of my readers may be very excited for Holidays. I am also knowing that there’s a whole other section of the general pop who are digging themselves a large hole, preparing to jump in to escape all things “family celebration”. Continue reading “How To Survive (The Family) Holidays – 13 Joyful Hacks”
Some of you would be completely freaked out, some of you won’t notice, some of you would be intrigued and some of you would throw the tree out the window. But wait, I can explain… Continue reading “Warning – Christmas Tree Cocoons”
Welcome!!! Well, actually, just practicing cause I am 3 away from that honor. But I can feel it in my bones, IT’S HAPPENING. Did I tell you that I honor my milestone followers with a special gift? Beyond excited for this opportunity… my 100th follower declined receiving anything from me so instead, I celebrated my son’s girlfriend’s influence on my getting started on this adventure. She helped me to create a forum for my voice, stronger than ever as I crawl, walk, jog and finally sprint back from an insane upbringing.
I was happy to have one reader stop by – what a crazy good validation of my truth … perfect strangers responding with “yup” and “uh-huh” when I threw it all out there, sobbing privately between the lines. Somebody understood God damn it, lots of somebody’s cheering for me and some offering a glimpse into their long held hell with spontaneous comments.
A true treasure I’ve unearthed in this blogging business. Every time I am struck with an idea, a memory, a bitch😂 or celebration, I am free to let the words flow like somebody left the gate open. Without hesitation, censoring, dumbing it down or guilt – I just say it anyway. How beautifully organic. I am beyond blessed to be seen and heard in my truth. How blessed am I to have an audience to connect with… no doubt, this is sacred work.
Naming my Gratitude WordPress! 😊
I miss looking under rocks for cool bugs to put in our bug-house. I miss packing a thermos of hot chocolate, 3 sandwiches and grabbing a loaf of stale bread to spend quality time with the beach seagulls. Continue reading “For The Love of Gratitude 12/1/2018”
For The Love of Gratitude 11/27
Today I am thankful for the ability to SEE. Visual acuity? Yes, of course… But not only the ability to physically “see” but the DESIRE to self heal, excavating through the valleys of the human condition- seeing what is hidden, disowned, denied in ourselves…is what I’m most thankful for.
Even if. Even if what I see isn’t fucking glamorous. Even if what I see isn’t what I want for myself. Even if what I see brings me to my knees. Today I’m sharing my gratitude for the strength and perseverance to keep on keeping on for the betterment of my life.
#desire #beseen #thankful #roomwithaview #seethis #thirdeye
I believe in the magic of trees. I can be found touching, smelling and cozying up to trees. They’re all so welcoming, fragrant, protective and accepting of love from us. My ancient friends on my land, lovingly offer their sap which I respectfully process into delicious syrup. Bark, of the Shag-bark tree also creates a delectable syrup. Elderberry, Linden, Maples, Oaks, Willow… Oh, my momma Willow. How I honor thee. I would say one of the most disappointing events I witnessed this year involved my 100+ yr old Willows. Continue reading “As A Tree, I Heal”
I am just in love with this piece by Mary Oliver…
Messenger
My work is loving the world.
Here sunflowers, there the hummingbird-equal seekers of sweetness.
Here the quickening of the yeast; there the blue plums.
Here the clam deep in the speckled sand.
Are my boots old? Is my coat torn?
Am I no longer young, and still not half-perfect?
Let me
keep my mind on what matters, which is my work,
which is mostly standing still and learning to be astonished.
The phoebe, the delphinium.
The sheep in the pasture and the pasture.
Which is mostly rejoicing, since all the ingredients are here,
which is gratitude, to be given a mind and a heart
and these body clothes,
a mouth with which to give shouts of joy to the moth and the wren, to the sleepy
dug-up clam,
telling them all, over and over, how it is that we will live forever.
Oh, the rain falling. Reminds me of all the parts of myself that are falling away. Parts that I won’t miss. Continue reading “Cleansing and Clearing”
6. What a great age… the wide eyed expression when they talk about the tooth fairy, their dog, their birthday on Saturday, elves and a special rock. All with magic and wonder for ordinary things. Everything is possible and everyday is an adventure. Today, I’m 6. Excuse me while I go and play with my inner 6 year old -this glorious Friday.
I was with a woman last night who really has it out for herself. I mean, the car felt crowded and it was only the 2 of us in there. She felt heavy. If stared at her long enough I might get a clear pic of the degrading bastard who grips her aliveness. This invisible energy that slaughters her every attempt she makes… to shine. The invisible beast with tentacles, squeezing the happy, proud, self-confidence right out of her.
Continue reading “Careful, Your Self-Talk Is Showing”
A Fish Named Karen 