challenge · Hate · human condition · inner work · Joy · Play · self love · shadow · triggers · Uncategorized

Reaction From The Dark Side

Met someone from my past today. Except she clearly, did not recognize me.

I was getting a pedicure 3 chairs down from her. My feet are pretty ticklish so I was squirming and laughing through the brushing, the massage, hot stone massage, etc.. She looked over at me, enjoying myself, and shot me a look of absolute disgust and hate. Leaned over, closer to her friend, “what is so funny, why is she laughing at us?” she announced rather loudly.

WTF? This nasty human obviously had no tolerance for my joy or light. She assumed I was laughing AT HER. How convoluted and strange. At first I was shocked but it still did not stop me from carrying on feeling the joys of foot massage and reacting uninhibited. I’m not about to put a lid on my joy.

Imagine walking around in life thinking everyone is reacting to YOU, that EVERYTHING that happens around you – is about you – and for you? Sounds kinda like a 2,3,4 year old child.  She clearly wanted to extinguish my aliveness with violence. The way she looked at me was full of contempt. Like I “DID something to her” just by being in joy and being in the moment. This threatened something in her. She wanted to attack me. She kept looking over to make sure I was not still smiling at her.

She wanted to shame me and tried to involve the clinician who was doing her pedicure. I heard her say, “That’s disgusting” and motioned for her friend to look over at me. I felt them both look over and laugh to themselves. Evil, I’ll tell ya. I so badly wanted to rise up and give her the feeling of powerlessness that she soooo does not want to feel!!!!  I’d volunteer…I fantasized about getting in her face and pressing it against the glass, or grabbing her by her hair and dragging her head down to the ground ☺️ but instead, I chose to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. She was livid. It tore her UP to see me still enjoying myself. Her efforts to bully me were fruitless. (Stick yer tongue out emoji) LOL and wasn’t she so very comfortable with trying to intimidate and bully people who appear to “defy” her wishes. Yep, that’s me, just running around pissing people off on purpose.

Her life must be a living hell. Imagine the feelings of complete powerlessness, paranoia and terror this “woman” (and I use that term loosely) has buried under all that rage, disgust, contempt and blame.

It is impossible to know what someone else’s perception will be for any given situation. Never assume that someone will react “normally” in a seemingly no brainer situation. Who really cares what someone else’s reaction to my light is. DNnnmnnnon’t let anyone steal your joy, or try and bully you out of it. My foot massage felt great, it tickled me, brought me amazing pleasure, it was a sensual experience. Too bad if someone reacts unfavorably to my feeling of pleasure – not my f’n problem. I’m just having a reaction within myself, it should not cause rage. Her perception skewed, full of blame and projection. Rather bizarre. But we have no control over how other people react to us.

God bless this poor rageful soul. I  refresopted out of refreshing her memory and letting her know we actually were on the volleyball team together in high school… LOL  Hopefully she stays out of prison.

 

 

 

 

 

6 thoughts on “Reaction From The Dark Side

    1. I know, right? Blog worthy for sure, LOL. My pleasure and joy and peace were taken from me my whole childhood – not this time. Was a great test for me- could I hold onto it even though an evil both wanted to take it from me and hurt me. Be gone, pesky fly 😂. Thanks for stopping by Amanda

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Glad you did not allow it to spoil your day. Brings back memories of an ocassion where I was in a temporary job. I was smiling and chatting to someone next to me on a table where I was a packet. Happy because I got a permanent job and so I wasn’t shutting up about it. Further up on the factory floor, at another table, I noticed someone kept glancing down at me. Eventually our eyes were meeting quite regular and I thought to myself why is she doing this.
    Later, I found out why. She had a right go at me saying why was I talking about her? I laughed and said at what point have I talked about you and what have I supposedly said? She then brought up about me keep informed on looking at her earlier.
    I replied back swearing, saying I was wondering why you was looking at me the way you did. Well I have news for you. It wasn’t about you. It was about me, bringing my table of packers into it saying that I am sure they are bored with my conversation earlier about my excitement in leaving here for another job, cos that’s what I have been talking about and not shut up about. The person in charge of my table shouted out true. She did not know where to put her face. But she never apologised.

    Liked by 1 person

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