I stumbled upon these two words on a reel just recently. Silver Disobedience. Immediately joy and a sense of knowing spread across my being. I’m at the age when the white/silver is methodically tip-toe-ing around to frame my face. I should, truth be told, be 100% silver/white by now. I am obsessed with it. It looks badass or I feel badass or maybe both. Yeah, definitely both. I know very few people my age (and even younger) who embrace this look. My own hairstylist is telling me I will look like a hag. LMAO. A hag???? seriously, my face is not hag-ish so I think we’re good.

I’ve absorbed all kinds of fearful comments from well meaning family/friends. “You’re gunna wear your hair like that to __________’s wedding?” “You’re eyes are a warm brown, grey/white are cool colors, it’s going to look terrible”, “You’re gunna hate it.” and lastly, “gray doesn’t go with your brown hair”.” It’s really shed light on the magnitude of fear women have about showing their age, about looking perfect and young. There seems to be paralyzing fear around being seen as Middle Aged and (dare I say…) Elderly. God forbid we relax these rigid, outdated, self imposed “rules” governing how we show ourselves in the world. Come on now, it’s not a secret that we’re all aging.

Personally, I have some pretty strong feelings about aging honestly. I am in love with growing older, so many of us do not get the privilege of growing older and leave this earth before the first signs of aging are apparent. I earned this shit, no longer dumbing my existence down. I have embraced the bullshit of my younger years and transformed my life entirely into something they didn’t want me to be. Unrecognizable to the people who chose to play small. This is the good stuff. The beginning of the age of wisdom and truth. A natural process that should be nurtured and revered not hidden and shamed. It’s a pleasure to be alive. It’s my pleasure to experience life unfolding.

Wise woman, Crone, Elder, Sage…many terms, all beautiful, I think. I feel the honor, no horror. I respect the process. I am the process. We are the process. No apologies. Silver Disobedience because I just don’t make any room in my life for societal perceptions. I’m not interested in maintaining a façade. It’s important to me that I honor every year I’ve had on this earth, it’s all valuable and honest. I’m not trying to be 20 or 30 or 40 or 50 again – I did that already and this is who I am today. This is what I look like today – Silver Disobedience – because I’m not conforming and changing how I present – for you.

I smile when I look in the mirror. My reflection looks wise, self aware and beautiful. I am a slave to no-one, to nothing. I choose to live out loud, loving my own skin, hair and body. Today, it’s as good as it’s going to ever be. Stop chasing time and stand still in this very moment. Who you most deeply are is underneath all of it, she’s in there, she craves freedom and expression…. time to show her the way out.