anyways · awareness · challenge · Uncategorized

Good Vibes Only, Insensitive Bastard

Apparently I haven’t figured out how to exist without offending fragile egos. Especially on social media. I’m a complete failure. Because it’s not me to exude “positive vibes only”. What kind of unfeeling, unavailable bastard came up with that prison SENTENCE (haha,get it?). Serious, if you’re thinking something other than glorifying someone you better just check that shit at the door For fucksake, the world is not ready for your edgy ass. WHEN WE DON’T–God forbid– stroke their ego by telling them their life, their look or children are the most adorbs, grand, special, brilliant, pristine, glamorous thing we’ve ever laid our amazing eyes on… well that’s just grounds for hate. Grab your proverbial torches and pitchforks, let’s run this hating, insensitive bastard right off this page.

There is no room for honesty on social media. No room for real. Save that shit for your private moments. I was recently involved in such an incident which has changed everything for me. I’m actually thankful it went down like this because it stung so badly it changed my cozy relationship with the FB platform. When I think of opening FB today…my stomach actually turns. I refuse to forfeit time to such non-sense.

I have this friend who has moved away. She recently colored her hair and posted a pic of it on FB. I have known her for 20+ years. She is a beautiful woman, always has been. I looked at her pic and thought, oh man, I love it when she’s a brunette, it looks stunning on her. But this pic, the new style was blonde. So all the comments before me were “gorgeous”, “omg, beautiful”, “that looks great”. Well, I know this woman well and because I know she appreciates honesty (so I thought) I wrote. “me no like, I love your hair dark, it makes your eyes really pop”.  Well at first she responded with something like, “well then have a fuck-you yourself” with a laughing face. I then responded, “you know I tell the truth, I don’t lie and that doesn’t make me very popular”. She seemed fine with that.

Someone posted…”I think it’s gorgeous, other than that one very negative comment above, we all love it”. Of course, now, yes, all hell broke lose. Open the gates of HELL. It’s like an entire village chasing you. My friend came back and said (to me) “I never asked for any opinions and weren’t you the one who, just the other day, posted that women need to lift each other up and not tear each other down?” Then, a dick move, she ended with, “you know I still love you” laughing and kiss emoji. Of course many ppl loved her coming back at me in this way. Joining in, I’m sure with their own brand of attack. Even friends I have known for 30 years loved that comment. I hid that shit from my view for 30 days.

I wrote nothing back. How could I? Was I to tell her that, NO you didn’t ask for anyone’s opinion but the only reason you are saying that was that everyone else licked your ass, stroking your ego and I chose to be real. Yes, real – I thought you would appreciate that as you have in the past. And, correct me if i’m wrong, but saying what you think about something is an OPINION still right?  Even responding “gorgeous” is an opinion. So no-one should have commented. No opinions allowed. Got it. And bringing up a post from a week ago about my celebration of women and honoring each other? I do honor and adore you, that’s why I’m being real. I save the fake shit for those I don’t care for or for people who are giving me a hard time.

So this is all very stupid shit. None of it is real. Garbage. Social media is a bit like my family of origin. People who have no “container” for real feels/emotions. An unspoken rule that any emotion, thought or feeling that isn’t happy or positive it’s simply not allowed, ever. Shiny, happy, plastic people appearances, smiles a mile wide. No anger or bitterness or jealousy or honesty. No bills or root canals or stinky socks. No abuse or drunkenness or struggle. No refrigerators that make noise or attempted burglaries. No lawsuits or accidents or lost keys. No dead car batteries or fights with your children—not unless you can bellyache about these things publically and extrapolate some mad attention from the masses (eye roll). Only the beautiful words, pictures and facade are shown to the world. Just smile you fucking idiot. The world will live you more.

I forget just how fragile some egos are. Just how many people are showcasing fabulous bits and pieces of their lives – cutting out all the real. God forbid our lives aren’t as amazing as these fake ones online. Everyone I know is struggling daily with bullshit, including myself. Everyone. It’s just the Human Condition. We spend so much time trying to cover what’s real, changing our words to make others happy, to appear to be less of a burden. We sell our souls just to look like we’ve got life by the balls, that we always look perfect and for Christ sake, never let others see your struggle. We even feel the need to control the responses to our posts. Attacking anyone who casts any doubt on our already bruised ego. It’s doing more harm than good. GOOD VIBES ONLY (stomach turns) puts a restrictor plate on our humanness.

So yes, I fully own my perceived “insensitive bastard” self. I assume too many things about my fellow man. I assume that people willingly accept constructive criticism, I assume that I am closer to people than they would report, I assume that people are more honest (and loyal) than they turn out to be and that they listen sometimes when I speak. 😬

Maybe all too much. Maybe I need to Tone that shit way down. Take a step back and assume nothing. Social media is great if you’re promoting your business, it’s great for networking and joining groups of people who enjoy your same hobbies and interests. Other than that, I really don’t see the point.  I think I’ve observed my fill of insane rants, attacks, threats, posts that seem harmless and harmless disagreements that get dragged out for months. It just seems like a conglomeration of insanity. Everyone has a different opinion, which is to be expected and honored but never is and quickly, everytime, these posts morph into a beast of its own. From now on I’m keeping my thoughts to myself. It makes no sense to me to share in the garbage platforms of FB, Insta, Twitter.

There… I feel lighter already. Now please excuse me while I go and spend time in the solitude of my own thoughts 💜

2 thoughts on “Good Vibes Only, Insensitive Bastard

    1. Yeah, def hit home. As a child, only happy, pleasant thoughts, words and actions were tolerable. So, just another trigger puzzle piece for me. More around that wounding for me to look at and learn from. I appreciate your feedback and I’m glad you enjoyed the read. 💜

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