What I know today is that I am doing the best I can with what I know at this moment. Listening to my body, getting my needs met and noticing, just noticing issues and problems. After all, the problems are usually not the big deal, it’s the way we FEEL about having a problem – this is the REAL problem.
Today I feel like I’m just watching life unfold. I’m not part of events and moments but just an observer. Dissociation is the order of the day. Now I have a clear choice… I can either beat myself up, try to figure out why, try to be something else (exercise, physical pain, substance, force grounding, etc..) and otherwise DO something about my dissociative state or I can accept that this is the order of the day. If I make it a big honkin deal then I’ve added to the original condition.
Today I will not shame myself, go into role, hide or otherwise catastrophize about what could have possibly taken over my brain and ability to feel deeply. Obviously, I have been triggered. Healthy, normal, life happening, right now, oh well.
And Thank-You, dissociation, my loveliest, oldest companion, for saving my young self from a complete mental breakdown. Happy Friday everyone.
6. What a great age… the wide eyed expression when they talk about the tooth fairy, their dog, their birthday on Saturday, elves and a special rock. All with magic and wonder for ordinary things. Everything is possible and everyday is an adventure. Today, I’m 6. Excuse me while I go and play with my inner 6 year old -this glorious Friday.
It’s Friiiiiiday, it’s FRIday, it’s Fridaaaaayyyyy! It’s finally here, the day we’ve been waiting for. Arriving in secret, as most of us are on our third dream. Slipping in, around, under the cracks. Continue reading “Holy Hell, Happy Friday”
Treat yourself as you would a dear, old friend. This realization came as I was harvesting some green beans from my garden for someone else. I was careful to choose ONLY the best for this person, no spots, not too big, not too small…etc., I surprised myself with the care I took to give only the loveliest I had grown. I also noticed that when I gift someone something I’ve made or grown – choosing only the best products, the amount, the presentation, be it a bow, ribbon, bag or gift-wrap… hmmmm, am I treating myself with the same loving kindness? – or do I just get what’s left over? I started to think, am I not worthy of being cherished and honored for my existence, my BEING? Well, the answer is, of course I am worthy of ALL OF IT.
Friday’s affirmation: If just for this moment, if just for today ——–
Treat yourself as you would a dear, old friend.