Walking out onto a frozen pond. Each step happening anyway. Not contingent upon support.
Will I be held in each moment? or will I fall… and struggle against non-existence? I wish to not have such thoughts. How life would look, had I not thought about the what if’s, the next step, the last step, doing it alone, not having a plan, insisting on a plan. Wanting to empty my mind of all this nonsense. Today, placing one foot assuredly on the frozen-ness and having that be it – no need to sensationalize/ dramatize the purest of all movement – in this very moment, and this moment, and this moment.
No need to gather information about the risks of taking just one more step, and then another. No goals, just childlike wonder. Experiencing for the sake of fucking off. No destination, nowhere to GET TO. I am trusting the Universe knows my destination. Just seeing the step I’m taking, being the foot with which I take the next step and not feel the need to create a story about it. Feel as the life-giving water, suspended in it’s gorgeous icy clarity, notices my presence and reacts suitably. I trust. Allowing me to bring all of my light and dark, no excuses, no worries. To it’s surface. All to be suspended, on ice.
Unlike life, if the reservoir has little to no reaction to my presence – THIS is preferable. We are left with our own reaction – step after step, is it fear or peace – which will be victorious? deciding the distance and the benefits of our travel. Or can they coexist? Each aware of the other’s presence. An experience so rich…if we’ve left our critical, analytical selves, ashore.
A Fish Named Karen 