Getting well, I held all of you OUT
To spite you
To let you feel and see
That you could have NONE of me
So you could feel unworthy/unwanted
Dirty and discarded
To show you I was in control of YOU
That you held no power over me
That I was always never totally yours
Never totally under your control
There was always a piece of me you (3) could not devour
My magnificent SPIRIT
That which kept me alive
It had to leave my body
I had to leave my body
A body being ravaged by your violence
By your sexual agenda
Your mind fuck
Tricking me into being loyal
Surviving on autopilot
Aliveness and light snuffed
Slaughtered by your fake love
How I wished you all would stop
How I wished I could stop living
But your abuse allowed my gifts to surface
Oh integrity, perseverance, grit, tenderness, pin-point intuition
Just little ole me
Detecting entitlement, control and lies
All delivered with a smile
A big FU arises
But how wrong of you to choose me
Very dumb choice
My Spirit fueled my mission
I was never totally out sold to you
My healing journey
An agonizing one
The deep hate and rage simmering
Building on itself
Spirit returning little by little
Empowering, driving me
I gutted you with truth
My duty, a healthy revenge
Shoved your nose in shit
Publicly mmmmm deliciousness
I‘ll forever hold YOU out
Leave you with your own open wounds
Because my self love is solid
Because my sanity is important
Because my allegiance to your cause has expired
Because life is joy
And an uncluttered mind
A calm body
Tender lovemaking
Truth
Sensual pleasures
Freedom and expansion
It’s always been the same destination
But instead of fighting against
I’m fighting FOR
A different highway
Less traffic
Better air quality
Pleasant, sunny, freedom
Arriving HOME to myself
A Fish Named Karen 